Everyman is dreaming of a future.
Data Inspector:
Good morning, citizen. We have reason to believe you have data in this house.
Everyman: Who told
you that?
DI: Someone who
knows.
Everyman: It would
be a strange house that didn’t have data in it, wouldn’t it?
DI: All the same,
we have to act on reports received.
Everyman: At dawn?
DI: You heard us.
We require entry to inspect the data on these premises. We suspect it may be
inaccurate, incomplete or irrelevant to the purposes for which it was collected
or further processed.
Everyman: This is
my private house. It’s my personal information.
DI: Your personal information?
We’ve heard it names other people. That makes it their information.
Everyman: It’s
still my private house.
DI: From which you
run a little business on eBay. No
household exception for you.
Everyman: I don’t
have to answer your questions.
DI: Ah, but you
do. How else can we perform our duty to
the public?
Everyman: What
about my privacy?
DI: Privacy begins
at home. So that's where we start.
Everyman: By
invading my privacy?
DI: We protect
privacy, we don’t invade it.
Everyman: You seem
to be about to invade my home.
DI: Sometimes you
have to sacrifice privacy to preserve privacy.
Everyman: So what
do you want to know?
DI: Who is the
data controller in this house?
Everyman: How
should I know that?
DI: You are
required to know that. The data controller should have notified us.
Everyman: Well
you’ve got me there, haven’t you?
DI: When did you
last clean your data?
Everyman: Clean?
DI: Scrub it -
remove excessive, irrelevant or out of date data. We like to see hygienic data
practices, citizen. Dirty data is a
menace.
Everyman: Sounds
like the last public health campaign.
DI: Exactly. Unclean data spreads. We could have a national data contamination crisis
on our hands. You know our motto: “Healthy
data makes a healthy mind”.
Everyman: So you
think I’ve got a secret store of mouldy old data hidden away here, do you?
DI: I’m sure of it. We have a duty to discharge and you’re
starting to be obstructive.
Everyman: What
else do you want?
DI: Do all your
appliances conform to privacy design standards?
Everyman: And if
they don’t?
DI: You’ll be put
on our list.
Everyman: What list
is that?
DI: The privacy
offenders register. Everyone should know who can and can’t be trusted with
their data.
Everyman: How long
would I be on it?
DI: Permanently.
Everyman: No right to be forgotten, then?
DI: Not where
privacy breaches are concerned, my friend. Far too serious.
Everyman: Well, thank you for your interest. Now
please leave.
DI: Not that simple,
citizen. Sledgehammer, please.
[Now dedicated to the memory of John Blundell, who died on 22 July 2014. Find out the connection here.]
No comments:
Post a Comment
Note: only a member of this blog may post a comment.